aJ said to me yesterday, "can you please don't work so hard?"



I laughed it off. Then, my thoughts and questions came to my mind.



Have I been working that hard?



Maybe yes, maybe no. I felt that it was a need, not a want, to have two jobs, if not study and work.



Why?



Family commitments. Although I did not give a part of my monthly salary to my mother, but at least, I paid my own expenses. I mean ALL my own expenses. That includes, my braces - $100/month, transportation - $100/month, food - lost count how much I spent, phone bill - $100. All of them adds on and on.



I gave up shopping, my hobbies, lost touch with friends, sacrificed a little on my studies, just to work, to make life a lil' better.



Is it worth it?



I would say yes. There are many things beyond my control. What has happened has happened. The only I can do to help, is to lessen the burden. At least, I have stepped into the working society, learning how fuckdap the world is. I have been more independent. Surviving in this cold world. Many many times, I managed to get through major disasters. For all the shit I have been going through, I am still standing up tall. At the same time, I think that my life is a major catastrophe.



Do people out there ever appreciate what have I done?



All the things I've done, I do it for myself and my family. To be honest, I don't think I have been a noble person to be contributing alot to the society and my friends. I do not have the extra energy to do so. I am selfish, I know. But I hate it, when I am doing so much to make life better, my mother does not appreciate it. "First you, second your younger brother. Disappoint me so much." She said something of that kind to me.



I was hurt, I still am. I cried, I bawled and I wailed. In what way have I disappoint you? I do not understand. It seems to me that what I have all done, is just to disappoint you. If you expect me to understand you, you have to understand me. Stop seeing things from only one perspective. There are many many things that you have said hit me hard on my heart, yet I do nothing about it. There are many times when you are being unreasonable, and yet I did not defend myself, kept quiet and ignore what you have said and decided to forget about it because I did not want our relationship to sour again. I tried. I really tried. But everything I do, still disappoints you. I know, there are somethings that you not happy about me.



Didn't I changed?



Didn't I spend more time at home help you with housework?



Didn't I try to help you with requests that you make?



Can't you see my changes?



Can't you see my efforts?



I am still trying to change to suit you. But it all goes down the drain. All I sense was that you take things for granted. I know you are troubled, I know you are tired, I tried to understand you from your view, but you don't seem it that way. Maybe I did not express it, thats why you don't. It upsets me, that you don't see what I am tryin to do or say.



I tried to gain your trust, but you never did. You want me to be independent and yet you don't trust me. I tried making everything works. But its just futile effort.



The person that makes you proud is my undergrad bro. But did he do anything to emotionally support you? No, I don't think so. All he does was to come back home, talk and talk and not do anything. Yet I was the opposite. I do and do and not talk about anything.



I tried I tried and I tried and I am still trying...



Because all I wanted to do was just to make you proud.

Labels: Rants

I saw Tay Ping Hui in the 9pm show on Ch 8. He was in army uniform. Then, I proceeded to hyperventilate.

My oh my, man just loooookkk so good in uniforms. I remembered a few years back, best friend and I always go ga-ga over man in uniforms. Their tan, lean, fit, tall, short and neat hair. *Droolz* *giggle*

Mai siao sioa, my ex bf and my current bf from commando lehhhh!!!! But I don't know why they are not as tall. *snigger* But bf, I still love you la. *snigger*

I shall go hyperventilate over the mental image of Tay Ping Hui in uniform (k, it sounds wrong, but hey, it's just pure innocent imagination of Tay Ping Hui in uniform ONLY). *giggle*

Labels: random

I was supposed to be in good mood because of my mum. But now I am in the not-so-nice mood also because of my mum.

Firstly, my mum keeps bugging me to fix the computer. Yes, I know how to fix it but I am so so so so so so reluctant to do so. I am not the one who crashed the computer. I have not touched the computer as often as the spoilt brat do. That spoilt brat spends his time playing and heating up the computer. WHY AM I RESPONSIBLE FOR FIXING THE COMPUTER??? WHY NOT ASK THE PERSON WHO CRASHED THE COMPUTER TO FIX IT WHEN I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH IT???

I am so not going to help to fix it. It's high time that he stop relying on me. Period.

Secondly, THERE IS A BLOODY COFFEE STAIN NEXT TO MY LAPPIE'S TOUCHPAD. WHO DID IT? YOU GOT IT RIGHT. THAT BLOODY SPOILT BRAT. I purposely leave that fucking stain there and hope that he will have conscience to wipe it away. After 4 bloody days, it is still there. This, is another reason why I do not want to fix the computer because there is this particular someone who only knows how to play games whine and not take care of everything.

Thirdly, MY LAPPIE IS LAGGING LIKE FUCK. WHY? BECAUSE SOME BLOODY SPOILT BRAT DOWNLOADED MAPLESTORY AND MANY OTHER IDIOTIC GAMES IN THIS FUCKING LOUSY LAPPIE THAT I USE TO DO ALL MY WORK. WHAT IF THE LAPPIE CRASHES? WHO IS GONNA BE RESPONSIBLE FOR IT? ME? BECAUSE I NEVER BACK UP MY FILE?

Fourthly, someone, who is the father of one of my secondary school friend, turn up unexpectedly at my house. Make his own way into my house when my mum is talking to the Fengshui master and say, "why you never pick up my call." I was so tempted to tell him, " I am the one who rejected your call so get out of my house right NOW!"He then takes his convenience to LIE on my sofa with his SOCKS on. He always gives me the "I am the boss and thus I am giving you advise therefore you shall listen to me" vibe. COME ON LAH. Who's the boss here? This is my mum's house not yours. So shut up and stop calling my mum and disappear. Oh ya, before you disappear, remember to return the money you owe my mum.
Not a very happy girl today. Tao tia. How?

Labels: Rants

Yesterday after work, I was walking to the bus-stop out Dhoby Ghaut Mrt Station when I noticed there is one poster looking for a missing person. I decided to carry on walking because the wind was too cold, the sky's gloomy and so is my mood. I did not bother to read that poster.

I reached my bus stop with the bone chilling wind still blowing. And then, I stopped dead in my track. The poster that I saw, was to find a missing 19 year old girl name Felicia. Below, was the poster, except that it was white background instead of black. I was stunned!
I thought, " Why on earth would this girl want to go missing and not go back home for 3 weeks? If I were her, I will be damn homesick lah! Plus, she is quite pretty and very young. My age leh! Not classified as runaway case. Strange." So I read through the poster thoroughly and made a mental note on the blog address.

This morning, out of curiosity and boredom, I decided to pay this website a visit. I read through all the comments, I cried. I see how much people care for her, love her and miss her. Coming up with the posters, blogs and appeals. I felt my heart wrench. The girl is of my age. She's been gone for three weeks. How can that be? In Singapore, say big not big, say small also not very small country, how can a person go missing for more den 2 weeks? With our efficient security forces, why are they unable to find her? Her parents are so heartbroken, I know, because I feel.

Eugene did not help but said, "Gone liao lor." I immediately throw him the disgusted look. I don't know, but I've got this feeling that something bad has happened to her. Lets pray that it will not the case. I hope, she will be able to find her way back into the arms of her parents.

[edited] Eugene says that I look like her. O.o?

Labels: Find Felicia

Seems like xiaxue has caused an uproar in the blogosphere. With interesting rebukes and back lash. Good entertainment for me! No comments on that issue. But I still thought that Steven Lim was being ridiculously ridiculous. So much for being a famous blogger. I am happy with my not-popular-at-all blog. Living my life in peace!

Anyway, for the past few days, I have been reading sibehsibehsian.blogspot.com. I think he is so hilarious with his posts. Another great entertainment.

Been zonk out for the past few days. Busy with working working and more working. How boring can my life be?

The only thing that is worth mentioning is the outing on last Saturday with Weili, Wei Yang, Cindy, best friend and of course, me. Had a feel of Weiyang's sibeh tiong Honda Civic. All the sound system in the boot, WHOA! Sitting at the passenger, with "Osim Upapa" in addition. Shiok ah. Had authentic Taiwan food. Really good. Just alittle bit out of place. How wasted is that. Later in the night, Weili, Cindy and me drove to Geylang to look at interesting people but no avail. Due to the fact that there is police. What the hell, waste of our time, should have gone to Changi or somewhere else to people watch.

Other than Saturday which was a wee bit more interesting and happening, nothing else major happened. How? My life very boring leh. Fill with work only. zZz.

I miss those sec school life where we just do homework, hang out in canteen, check out upper sec boys, go shopping for hair accessories, stationeries. I can't believe that I will be 20 next year. OMZG. How time flies. Sigh

Labels: Blogosphere, Friends

For the past few days when I did not update, I felt like I was riding an emotional rollercoaster. Too many things thats happening. Too fuckdap. Read up in the internet, signs of mild depression. Just very sorry for screaming at bf. Lost my phone. Give me your numbers over msn friends.


But eh, I am fine now. My peeps are coming to my house and later dinner and la kopi. Looking forward!

Labels: Rants

And so, after a good sleep until 1pm, I woke up and started the day off err.. quite ok la. Never mind about that. Im here to show you guys pictures of my new house! HEHE!
The above is my living room. Pardon the messiness. Saw that steamer at the window? A gift from my boy to mummy! Now, mummy can save more time and electricity by using the steamer. Love love. AND I LOVE MY COFFEE TABLE!! There's four extra chair to pull out under the table!!
My kitchen. It is very elongated as compared to my previous house.
My dining area, which is in between my living room and kitchen.

And my room!!!!!! Look at my awesome dressing table. Love it to bits. Ain't gonna show you my mum's and bro's room. Basically my whole house had that zen look. Next week, FJ meeting in my house. After meeting maybe we can go la kohi or supper. And oh! I wanna see weiyang's very the tiong car!!!!

Lets end of this post with another gift from bf!

Smiley mushrooms! Bed room slippers! Anti-slippery! LOVE LOVE!!!!

Labels: Happiness, House

忙死了. 快要喘不过气了. 真是的, 为何我的生活如此的忙碌?

我希望我可以停下脚步, 和身边的人好好聚一聚. 但很可惜, 没有办法做到. 周围发生了许多事情, 不幸的是, 我也没有伸出我的援手(小叮噹!). 大家敬请原谅.

不多说了. 我要返回我忙碌的生活了. 再见.

Labels: Chinese

Oh! I tried my best to blog. But somehow time does not allow me to. Been really tired and all. * Whats new?* My new house has been great. Comfy and all. Will have pictures uploaded soon!

I have been reading a lot of books recently. I finish "Yakuza Moon, A memoir of a gangster daughter", Which I thought was average. Before that I read "A Piece of Cake" by Cupcake Brown. I thought this book is brilliant. Also a true story. The last part was really touching. You guys can check out the book at www.cupcakebrown.com. Synopsis of the book is there. In case you guys wants to read it, drop me a mail or ring me to ask. High recommended.

Now, I am reading "P.S I Love You." Only a few chapters into the book I am already bawling my eyes out. Another highly recommended book.

Sometimes, I am also very amaze by the speed I read.















Some people are just so inconsiderate that they don't give a flying fuck about how you feel. Just keep your ass mouth shut and do not poke nosey shit into other people. OoO, I love the above picture.

Labels: Rants

See my pretty faux lash. But it irritated the hell out of me.

Labels: Rants

I am pretty pissed off. My bro reformatted the pc and that's were I have most of my work done in my poly years. He said that he actually asked me before. But hell no. I don't remember that and I am rather sure that he did not ask. Even if he actually ask, I will not even say yes until I've saved my stuff.

Gone. All gone. *hands up in despair*

*twirl around aimless*

*trying hard to be lost in my own world*

Lets not all piss me off because I will be tired and grouchy. Having 2 jobs plus family commitments is not fun. So STFU. Be prepared for the worst if you stepped on my tail. Ya'll hear?

Labels: Rants

Huey Wen aka Ah boon aka Ali
Temasek Polytechnic/Parttimer
08/11/1988
Loves being single ^^

designer | kathleen(:
fonts | dafont
host | imageshack

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